Lately, I've been thinking about the relationship i had with him. I often wonder how it would have been if I had made an extra effort to make it work.
For about 2 years or so, we were each other's happiness and strength. We have a relationship that is the envy of others. We look at each other as if we are the only people in the world. We love being in each other's arms and always feels safe when we're together.
But things change, so they say, and I knew it was coming. I noticed when things started to change. The hugs were quicker, the phone calls were shorter, and they weren’t every night. We didn’t hurry to the place where we said we’d meet. The ‘I love you’s felt more like a forced, daily routine, and really had no meaning. When we saw each other, the smiles weren’t as bright, or as big. Our thoughts weren’t only of each other. We seemed uninterested, we felt unloved. We had too many doubts. I think I noticed when things started to change.
Then at one point, we decided to part ways. And our sighs were signs of relief and our cries were just being sentimental. And that's where I realized that what happened to us was way worse than any other dirty break up's.
And I quote a line in a Tagalog movie that said;
"Sabi sa Census, may 11 milyon na tao Metro Manila. Paano mo nalalaman na nahanap mo na yung taong para sayo. Maaring nakita mo na sya pero yumuko ka para magsintas ng sapatos. Maaring nakatabi mo na siya pero lumingon ka para tignan ang traffic light. Maaring nakasalubong mo na siya pero humarang yung pedicab. May mga maswerteng tao na nahanap na yung para sa kanila. May mga taong patuloy na naghahanap at may iba na sumuko na. Pero yung pinakamasaklap, e yung nasayo na, pinakawalan mo pa."
Doesn't matter who let go of who. The thing is, the kind of love we had was the kind of love most people would trade their positions/status for.
I am not speaking as a bitter ex girlfriend. I was just retelling the love story of the parents of my future son. We are on speaking terms, he's been supportive ever since we found out I was pregnant. Though there are times I really want to scream "Jerk" in his face for not being able to pull his acts together but nevertheless, he's a good man.
I was just thinking last night, that it would've been better if Jacob will be born with parents who's passionately inlove with each other and not with ex lovers trying to revive a stained relationship. Well, nevertheless, we will not treat Jacob any less. His life will be filled with much love with parents who may not be lovers but definitely good friends.
So, what's in store for me and him? That I still dont know. I'll let you know once baby boy comes out. We're concentrating on the baby until such time we'll have free time to work on our relationship.
Cincin and Eli
